Amelia Castillo: If you’re the caretaker of someone in any way, it doesn’t even have to be cancer, right? But being a caretaker for someone and holding someone’s hand through the scariest, hardest moment of their life, it will also take a toll on you. And it’s okay to then say, I need to reach out, and I need someone else to help me while I help this person.

Heather Nelson: Welcome to Her Story Unscripted. I’m your host, Heather Nelson, a connector, business strategist, and someone who truly believes that the most powerful conversations happen when we stop performing and start being real. This podcast is a space for women to share honest, unscripted conversations about life, growth, and the experiences that have shaped who we are. No perfectly polished narratives, no pressure to have it all figured out, just real, authentic stories told exactly as they are. 

Hello, everyone. Welcome to Her Story Unscripted. I have the honor of having Amelia here. We first physically just met. Well, I guess virtually just met. We did have a phone call. That’s what I love so much about our community, and the people who support my podcast. They’re like, oh, my god, we have someone, that would be so great. And you were connected by our friend Kelly. Instantly when I met you, we had so many things in common. And you’re right here in Sonoma County. We’re all plucking along, doing the same thing, and I just can’t wait to dive into your story. So welcome.

Amelia Castillo: Thank you for having me. I’m so excited.

Heather Nelson: Yes, me too. Tell the listeners a little bit about who you are. I said you lived in Sonoma County, but a little bit about the work that you do. I always like to have people say, maybe your age and where you sit in life, as far as kids and that kind of thing.

Amelia Castillo: I’m 42. I have two kids. I have two daughters, one is 19, and one is 4. So one’s in college, and one’s in preschool. We’re doing two very different worlds simultaneously. I’m an esthetician. I’ve been an esthetician for 17 years, but I definitely do things a little different over the last, well, over the course of my 17 year long career. I’ve changed things, so I don’t think I’m your stereotypical esthetician in how I treat and go after the skin. I love that you might be happy.

Heather Nelson: Well, and it’s so funny because I’m sure the evolution of things has changed so much. 17 years is a long time, and skincare products have changed. I think there’s this whole conversation around perimenopause, and something that we’re both sitting in right now is like a new thing that’s being talked about, and so I’m sure that has changed how you show it to your clients.

Amelia Castillo: Oh, yeah, definitely. That’s how science goes. What we thought we knew 17 years ago to what we now know has just changed. We’re constantly learning and evolving, which is why I really like my field. I am forever going to be a student and continue my education in this world because it’s always changing, and you have to stay on top of it to actually be able to help your clients and really understand it. 

Heather Nelson: That’s what I love so much. I just had someone who owns, she does hair, and she was even just talking about the evolution of things, and the different treatments that there are now. How much hair and your scalp impact your health, and you’re coming at it on a lens of skin. I know that that is like a big thing for us now with the sun, and what we’re putting on it, and how we treat it, and how we take care of it, and so I love somebody that’s consistently wanting to learn and adapt. Because we, I think that’s what we have to do. Talk about the services that you do now with your clients. You have a brick and mortar, right? You have a salon somewhere. 

Amelia Castillo: Yes, yes, I’m off of Airport Boulevard, so kind of near the airport-ish. Not at the airport, but on your way. I do facials. Of course, that is a big thing of what I do. But before deciding it’s not just facials. It’s not like, oh, if you want a hydro facial, we’re going to do a hydro facial. That is really what your skin needs. I’m really big on consultations, that’s my favorite thing to do. It’s an hour long consultation, and we go into everything. Because the way I look at it, there’s 7 major systems in our body that play a role on our skin. I asked questions, trying to figure out if any of these 7 major systems are misfiring or they’re stuck in some way. And then from there, I will help guide them in what they need to do in the treatment room, skin care product wise, and then also what they might want to look into addressing outside of that world. So for prime examples, one of them is your nervous system. That is a huge one that I think gets overlooked. So there’s a lot of questions on what’s your stress level. Are you overwhelmed? What do you do for work? I don’t just straight ask, are you overwhelmed? There’s questions that we dive into. 

Heather Nelson: I feel like every woman’s like, yeah, I am overwhelmed. 

Amelia Castillo: But all those things will play a role in your skin, and they’ll show up in certain ways. I’ll see things maybe on the skin, and I’m like, I can instantly kind of be like, oh, that could be this system or this system. So the nervous system, it’s going to show up a lot like acne, rosacea, eczema, sensitivity, delayed healing. But then, one of the other systems is like the immune system, and that will also show up as eczema, rosacea, redness, sensitivity, stiff skin. And so sometimes when people see that, they might just instantly go to, it’s my immune system, and they kind of start tackling that. I feel like the nervous system always gets pushed to the side like, oh, that’s nothing. Everyone wants to detox, and I 100% say that there is the gut-skin connection, but it’s everyone’s first thing to go to. And the nervous system, I notice, is definitely the last that people tend to look at. When they’re sitting there going, oh, my skin is not doing what it is towards it, having some weird reactions. That’s probably my biggest one that I’ve really honed into over the last couple of years because I was a prime example of it. I was looking at all the other systems and ignoring the nervous system. And then my own life kind of forced me to be like, oh, guess what? You can’t ignore this either. So that’s a lot of what my consultations are, really getting into what your lifestyle is doing that could be affecting your skin as well. 

Heather Nelson: I think so many people are coming at it in that lens because I think there is so much. We’re starting to find that in our bodies, our hair and our skin, and it’s what’s impacting us in our life that is showing up on our body. And it’s so funny, I feel like every conversation I have is about the nervous system, and it’s like this new thing. Everyone’s like, what? Nervous system? Do you help coach women on ways to regulate that nervous system? Do you work with other people who are focused on that? 

Amelia Castillo: I help guide. I have a lot of connections with all of these 7 systems that I have in my brain. That’s just how I do my consultations. So in each one, it’s their digestive system, it’s their hormone system, it’s their nervous system. It doesn’t matter which one it is, there are things that I can suggest, I can guide, I can offer. Oh, this person might be able to help you, especially when it comes to the nervous system. It’s going to be so tailored. Because what calms me, and what is my self care. And your self care could be totally different. And sometimes I think that the world is like, self care needs to be a bubble bath, or you need to do yoga. Don’t get me wrong, those things are great. But it’s just another freaking to-do list. And sometimes, self-care is sitting your ass on the couch and watching trashy TV. And don’t have a glass of wine, have a glass of wine, fine. 

But whatever it is that really lets you shut off for a moment and fills you up a bit, and it’s not meant to be a checklist of something else I have to do. I dive into, what are you already doing? Because everybody has something that they’re like, oh, this is my self-care. But what’s funny about it is, sometimes, their self-care is causing them stress. I’m like, why are you doing that? And they’re like, well, because it’s supposed to help. And I’m like, but do you feel better after? And then I do try and incorporate that into my treatments, right? Like I am doing things to help relax the nervous system during the facials, not just facial massage. I do this thing called tuning, fork tuning on some people. Have you ever heard of that? 

Heather Nelson: No. What is that? I gotta know. 

Amelia Castillo: So it’s this hippy little thing that actually, full disclosure, I am not fully trained to do tuning. Because if you are a tuning fork master or whatever they’re called, you can do a million different things with it. That is not me. I know how to do one thing with that, and that is to relax your nervous system. I take your system out of fight or flight, and relax the vagus nerve while you’re getting a facial. My sister, I have a hippie sister who I adore, and she is fully trained on that and can speak to that. I made her train me on one thing to do because I wanted to incorporate something while you’re, because I really do think the nervous system is so important that I can do it while they’re getting a facial. It’s not an add on, it’s not something that you pay for, it’s just you’re masking, I should have had it with me. But it’s this metal instrument, and I hit it, and it vibrates, and then I go on different points throughout the body. And again, the one that I’m hitting, it’s doing nothing but relaxing your vagus nerve, and kind of taking us out of the fight or flight that we unknowingly are in all day long. 

Heather Nelson: What is the vagus nerve? Where is that? 

Amelia Castillo: Well, technically, vagus nerves, it goes down your body. But I even do it. I just call it the vagus nerve. But there’s two on the right and the left side, and it communicates with everything in your body. It’s basically the thing in you that’s going to cause you to be in fight or flight. Kind of telling you, like, hey, we’re being chased by a bear, or calm down. And it can be a very helpful thing to your body. But sometimes, it can be not. 

Heather Nelson: It’s so interesting. As soon as you say healthcare or self care, everyone always does a bubble bath. Even when you said the word, the first thing of mine was relaxing in a bubble bath with candles and epsom salt. Some people are just sitting in a bubble bath, being like, what am I doing in here? Can I get out?

Amelia Castillo: If that doesn’t fill you up, don’t do it. And sometimes, it’s also like, I’ll text you. There’s a girl on Instagram that I follow, and I don’t know how she found me or how I found her in my little algorithm, but she’s cool because she kind of gives these ideas of what actual self-care is. One of hers is like, sometimes, self-care is dancing around in your living room, like screaming music, or like screaming the lyrics to your favorite song. It doesn’t have to be this checklist of things, another thing to do, and it doesn’t have to be cool.

Heather Nelson: I just wrote down, self-care should equal joy, and it should be whatever the act is that brings peace, or brings joy, or brings this moment of release of energy. I just thought of when dancing, or I’m a big component of getting a facial, or a massage, or pedicure, or things like that because it allows you to just be, and to do something for yourself that’s gonna better yourself. But especially as a woman to shut your brain off.

Amelia Castillo: Exactly. 

Heather Nelson: But people think self-care is drinking a glass of wine. And when you said that, why are we doing the things that make us feel like crap? Why are we doing that? With all the women, I’m assuming mostly, you’re seeing women come in. What is out of the 7, are you saying the nervous system is usually the highest thing that women need to focus on, or would be some others?

Amelia Castillo: Not necessarily the highest, I think it’s the one that people forget about. 99% of my clientele is women. So over the last 17 years, I’ve really learned that women tend to, by nature, be caretakers. They take care of everybody else, they don’t take care of themselves. Half of my job is explaining to my clients that they deserve to be here, that they’re allowed to take care of themselves. It’s not selfish that they’re not being bad wives, bad moms, bad insert whatever. And you cannot be there for someone else if you have not first taken care of yourself. Funny enough, my dad told me this, and it stuck with me. He’s like, you’re like a cup. And if you don’t fill your cup up with water, you don’t have any to give out to anybody. And you have to remember that. 

I would say the nervous system is one that I spend a lot of time talking with women, and almost just reminding them that it’s okay to be, I think we’re getting better as a society with that. But it’s definitely something that women carry around a lot of, like just guilt with that, which is weird. It’s so weird. And it’s been labeled as vanity to take care of yourself by going and getting a facial, which is just so far from the truth. There’s actually a study that was done where people who, like that whole look good, feel good, it is so true. You heal better. Your body will heal if you are taking care of yourself. Look in the mirror and feel good about what you see. It’s a form of health care. It is a form of taking care of yourself. It’s been labeled as vanity, and it’s one of my biggest pet peeves. But besides that, I would say hormones are a huge one. The hormonal system, obviously, with women. I think it’s like something stupid. Three days out of the month, we’re normal.

Heather Nelson: That actually feels very true.

Amelia Castillo: Yeah, I know. The more I learn, though, I’m always like, guys have no idea. They could freaking never. It just drives me crazy because they’re just always like this, and we’re just hanging on for dear life. I always tell my husband, I was like, I’m fighting for my life right now. Okay, I know you think I’m just sitting here. No, I am fighting for my life. 

Heather Nelson: Show up better for you and everybody around me.

Amelia Castillo: I have guilt about this. Okay, just let me be. One of my little forms of self-care is, 100%, I love watching reality TV. I can zone out, and I don’t have to think. I’m always like, don’t mess with my self-care time. 

Heather Nelson: I don’t know about you, but reality TV makes me feel a little bit better about my own life sometimes.  

Amelia Castillo: I want something mindless. I want something that I can just shut off. So with hormones, women, again, you go through puberty, then there’s the PMS, then there’s the perimenopause, the menopause, and then there’s even thyroid issues that can get thrown in. Our hormones are sensitive little bees.

Heather Nelson: And then you’re pregnant, and then you’re breastfeeding, and periods are all out of whack because you’re getting back on cycle.

Amelia Castillo: Anybody who’s pregnant or had a baby, like in the last year, I just feel like, give them whatever they want. They’re going through it. It is so much work to be pregnant. Especially that first year. Technically, it takes two years for your hormones to go back to normal post having a baby. But that first year, sleep deprivation. Your body is not even yours. That was like the big oh, my god moment when I had my daughters. It was like, okay, 9 months of being pregnant. Really more like 10, but whatever. Then the baby’s gonna come, and it’s gonna be fine. And then labor, you’re like, what the hell was that? And then when you’re like, okay, I just gotta heal from that, and then it’s the fourth trimester, which no one prepares you for. And then even when you get through that, you’re still just like, I still don’t feel like my body’s my one. I’m feeding a child with my body, so it’s really not my own. I’m not in control here. It was such a shock to me of how much you are giving up, and how much of yourself you’re going to give. Not even just physically, but emotionally and mentally. I’m always just like, give the pregnant girls whatever they want.

Heather Nelson: Oh, my god, what do you think of the two, especially at our age, those are the two that I feel like are just top of mind in general for us. What are you seeing as a woman of our age? Because I’m gonna say our perimenopause era, because I feel like that’s probably most of my listeners and most of the people that are in my circle and community. What is like the one thing, or maybe it’s a couple things that someone can do, obviously, getting facials is important. I want to talk about that in a minute. But on a day to day basis they take care of their skin, oh, that is good. 

Amelia Castillo: Prioritize sleep. Sleep is going to be one of the biggest things, which I suck at. And I’m getting better. I have to actively work at it. I have a whole routine. Because with perimenopause and menopause, our sleep gets messed with. I don’t know if you’re experiencing that, but once your Progesterone starts to dry, it affects your nervous system. So if there was only one thing you were to do for your skin, I would say prioritize sleep. For me, it looks like I have to watch my caffeine intake. I do a whole process. I dim the lights, I take magnesium, I do like a sleepy time tea. It’s like a whole song and dance, but that would be the biggest thing if you were just to do one thing outside of it. 

Heather Nelson: Yep, what else? I know you got a couple more. 

Amelia Castillo: Of course, staying hydrated, I feel like everybody says that, but it is important. Don’t forget to put a lemon and maybe a little bit of salt in your water. Because a lot of people drink water, but then they’re not actually putting any type of, you can do an electrolyte. I’m not the biggest fan of electrolytes. So outside of facials and skin care, that would be really good. And then, of course, managing your stress. You almost want to laugh when people say that because they’re like, okay, cool, let me just manage my stress. But that is really taking the time for yourself. What I’ve noticed and experienced too is this time in a woman’s life, perimenopause and menopause, they’re going through so much outside of just perimenopause. Because statistically, if you’re either got aging parents, you might have young kids. Sometimes, you can even have kids leaving to go to college, and it creates another layer of stress. You start to, I don’t want to question your mortality. But people start getting sick even at your age. 

At our age, it can be a very, very, very stressful time. Plus you’re at the peak of your career, if you’re working, so you’re dealing with so many things up in the air at once that not handling your stress and taking care of yourself is going to trickle into so many other things. For sure, your skin. Our skin is one of those communicative organs that some people are like, oh, yeah. I just throw products on it, and that’s it. And actually, your skin is communicating with you. It is connected to all these other systems throughout your whole body. It’s going to tell you, not always, but it can give you clues as to, hey, we’ve got something going on. Going back to the nervous system because I don’t think this gets talked about enough. The skin and your brain were literally created in the same exact spot when we were just a bunch of cells, and then they split apart. And that is why there’s like that skin-brain access. It’s a real thing. It’s just like a very simple thing. When you get nervous, or you get embarrassed and you blush, that’s your brain. Your skin is now reacting. It can do it in other ways. 

Not to go super, super personal, but how this wasn’t something that I was like seeing, reading in books. I actually experienced this myself, and then started to pick it up on the clients and be like, why is my industry not talking about this as much. Three years ago, my best friend was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer, and I did what anybody would do. Went into best friend mode, and was there, and am still there. But was unaware of that stress, that pain, whatever that it caused me, and my skin had a full blown. It was doing things that it wasn’t normally doing. I literally broke my barrier, and it would become inflamed and red. I’m an aesthetician of 17 years, and I’m going, what is happening? And that is when I started to realize, holy crap, even though I’m sitting here thinking I’m taking care of myself and I’m doing everything, and it’s fine, I’ve been more stressed than this in my life.

No, there’s such an emotional and a mental component to it all. And I think a lot of women, if somebody we love needs us, that’s all that matters. And as it should be, what we have to remember, we can’t give away everything and not be taking care of ourselves. Got to keep the cup full, and so that’s kind of my goal. I want my clients to be coming into my space and leave feeling like they got their cup filled in some way or another. And sometimes, that’s just like talking. And sometimes, that’s being completely silent, and just relaxing, whatever it is that they need.I definitely learned through my own experiences how important that was, and I don’t think people are talking about it.

Heather Nelson: That’s why this platform is here, so we can talk about that. I’m curious, how often do you think, you probably would tell a woman that they should come every month for a facial. But we all know financially, sometimes that’s harder. What do you recommend? How frequently does somebody come to get a facial? 

Amelia Castillo: You can do it whenever you want. So once a month. The people who are like this are my form of self-care. Or I have this issue going on. We really gotta be this in the beginning, right? Otherwise, I have clients who come every other month. I have people who come quarterly. I have people who are like, it’s my birthday treat, and this is what I do for myself. That’s also part of my consultations. Yes, we can get so much done in a treatment room, and we can get things done faster. But it’s not always the end all be all, and it’s not the necessity. I can set you up with things you can do at home that are going to get you the results that you need for your skin. It might take a little bit slower. I think some people think, oh, I don’t have the time or the financial means to be there once a month, so I’m just not going to do it. And that’s not the case. You don’t have to be in my treatment room every month to see results. 

Let’s be real, you’re going to see me once a month, it’s more what you’re doing at home, it’s more your day to day. That’s why consultations are my favorite because I’ll sit there and be like, okay, what is your day to day? What are you using on your face? That’s another thing that I do, to really talk to people about the products that they’re using. We’ve all fallen for the TikTok trend, or gone into Sephora and bought an array of shit. It was really expensive and you’re like, well, that’s great. You don’t need 20 products to be like, okay, what matters is what you’re gonna do. I’m like, okay, what is in your realm? How often can you be here? How much time do you have, morning and night, to devote to doing your skincare? I do try to romanticize your skincare because I think it’s important for women to just take 10 minutes. Lock the door, tell the kids, your spouse, get out and take 10 minutes or more, whatever you can do. I’ll give them tips and tricks on how to just make that moment a little bit of self care for themselves.

Heather Nelson: It’s interesting that you said that, because I’ve been very honest about it, I never used to wash my face at night. It was super annoying to me, especially if I was drinking and I was too lazy to take my makeup off. And luckily, I’ve always had healthy skin. I should probably knock on wood, but my skin has not been horrible, at least in my opinion. But ever since I started doing a self-care routine at night, I actually love my self routine, my evening routine so much better than my morning because it’s like brushing my face and putting all the layers on, and putting beautiful lip gloss on. I felt like I sprayed with this mist thing, and I feel so much better. I was thinking about this last night as I was doing it before, and I was like, I love it so much better .It’s like 10 minutes. And even though you’re going to bed, you feel like your skin feels great, your face feels great, your body’s relaxed. That’s been something that I’ve been incorporating on the day to day. So from that, I’m wondering, obviously, there’s so much we can do. But is there like two or three things an evening routine or a product that we must have, and I know that the amount of products out there are insane. But certain things like a moisturizer, or eye patches, or whatever you think can just move the needle just a little bit.

Amelia Castillo: Yes. There’s a few. I like night so much more, too. One, when you do skincare, AM is going to be protective. You’re going out into the world, so it’s like your vitamin C, your SPF. You’re really just protecting. Nighttime is where you put the stuff that’s going to actually promote change. Nighttime is the one that I like. Trust me, I’ve had clients where they’re like, I’m only gonna wash my face once a day. I said, then you’re doing night. I’ll meet you where you’re at. And eventually, get you where I need you to be. So nighttime, if you’re only gonna do one, which is gonna hurt me a little, I would still say, do night. And at night, you want to be going to bed like a baby seal. You want your face to be really shiny and full. Because as we sleep, we go through what’s called transepidermal water loss. Everybody goes through it. And that’s why sometimes, we sweat at night. It’s really weird. 

But obviously, the older we get, the worse it gets. You can wake up and you’re like, how did I sleep at night? My skin looks dehydrated and dull. And it’s because you are actually getting dehydrated throughout the night, so you want a lot of moisture on your face. A really good nighttime base moisturizer is one of my favorite things to do. A lot of times, what I like to do, not everybody loves this, though. Although I will say it’s probably my number one selling product, it’s a nighttime oil that you would add on top of your moisturizer, it’s called Nourish by Osmosis. Not everybody’s a big fan of it. It does leave you real oils, I should say. But I will say that my clients, I think it’s everyone’s favorite. You really want to be very, very moisturized. I am a big fan of adding some skin tools. I personally have six of them. I’m like, what do I feel like doing today? So I’d say my top two favorite ones, and again, you’ll find what works for you would be either facial cupping, so it’s these little silicone cups. It really helps smooth your lymphatic drainage. It feels really good. It releases tension in the face. That’s a whole other thing that I could talk about, how much tension do we carry? That’s something I do offer. I’ll even do the buckle massage where you release the tension. So facial cupping can really help with that. 

And then there’s this other tool, it’s called the EPIC Skin Tool. Again, I should have had these things. They have two little balls on a stick, and you roll it very, very gently. It has these tiny little, I don’t even want to say needles because that’s so nice, so gentle, but it just helps to stimulate the circulation, and have the products go in a little. And again, there’s something to using some modality. I love to do that at night. It’s my favorite thing. People like gua sha, they like the ice rollers. I love those too, but I would say my top two are the EPIC Skin Tool, and then the facial cupping. Any type of facial manipulation to do at night is really cool because our muscles on our face are connected to skin, not bone. They are on the rest of our body so you don’t work them out the same way. How you work out your facial muscles is through facial manipulation, massage. I get a lot of people asking me, is this all a trend? This facial manipulation, facial yoga, and massage? I’m like, no. Actually, it’s 100% something you should be doing. And doesn’t have to be an hour. You literally can do two minutes a day at night, whatever works into your schedule.

Heather Nelson: Or while you’re watching your reality TV.

Amelia Castillo: You fit it in whenever you can. But those will be a big game changer.

Heather Nelson: I started using them, they’re like frozen balls, basically, and they’re just so soothing. It’s so relaxing. I just reminded myself that I need to do it more often. It’s in the freezer downstairs. I’m just doing it right before bed. Thank you for that, because I think we all think we have to have all these products, and we have to have all the newest shiny things. And again, not all products are created equal, just like all diets are not created equal. Everyone has to be customizable to what their skin is. Even those things of just being more aware of, and adding it. I definitely highly recommend creating an evening routine, because it is a game changer. I’m like, when can I take this makeup off my face? As soon as possible? 

Amelia Castillo: My favorite time. My favorite time is PJ time. 

Heather Nelson: Yes. We used to get excited about putting makeup on. And now we’re like, I know you to take it off. Let me just be. I love that. Are there any other skin care routines, or products, or things that, again, because most of my listeners are women, that they could implement in their day to day that we didn’t talk about?

Amelia Castillo: Okay. Well, there’s two things. One, I am a big believer in doing a weekly mask, and that could be another little fun thing of self care that you can make fun however you want, or just add to your routine. Not to go on too big of a tangent here, but sometimes, I will see people who are over exfoliating their face, and you don’t need to be exfoliating your face every day super aggressively. But once a week, do it. It doesn’t always have to be an exfoliating mask, it can be a hydrating mask. It can be a calming mask with soothing. I’m a big component of that. So finding a mask that’s geared towards you and your skin concerns or goals, I think, is a big game changer. I know that this one’s unfortunately, like I said a lot, some people just might want to roll their eyes, but it doesn’t matter what food you’re putting into your body. Taking into account, am I getting my fruits and vegetables? Am I eating enough protein? Oh, God, protein is so annoying. How much protein do they expect people to do? But I am a big believer in eating food. Look at the majority of your meals, are they whole foods? So it doesn’t have to be anything super crazy, but it plays a big role. Unfortunately, our skin, I wish I could tell everybody, nope, you can eat in and out every day. You’ll be fine. Your skin will show it.

Heather Nelson: I have to ask, I get this a lot from other people, I don’t break out. But every time during the month, I’ll get one. And it’s always literally in the same exact spot. Why is that?

Amelia Castillo: Hormonal acne. Which acne hormonal breakouts? Let’s be real, if it’s just one, it does hang out on the chin. That’s just where it likes to go. Why it happens is because your body is preparing for a baby and it boosts up all these hormones that boost up your oil production. And then when you don’t get pregnant, it drops down just as fast, literally. So it goes up to the highest point. You get all this excess oil, and your skin’s like, what the hell? And so then, little breakouts can happen. And then when the pregnancy doesn’t happen, it just plummets down, and that is why when men want to say women are crazy, it’s like, do you know what just happened inside my body?

Heather Nelson: Now I have a pimple tissue, like a hormone roller coaster in there, like, don’t test me right now. They’re like, oh, she’s got a friend in town, we better go somewhere else.

Amelia Castillo: That’s actually something that I have found really helpful, tracking your cycles, which is also kind of annoying, and another fricking task to do. But when you can be like, oh, my period’s coming. I’m at this stage, you can then help ease that by doing a charcoal mask or some help with oil production. Maybe just soak it up a little bit during that, and that would be the mask you’d use that week. This is about something we talk about when you come in for consultations, I always get these breakouts, they drive me crazy. Then I’m like, all right, let’s start tracking your cycle when we get to this stage in that week. This is the mask you’re gonna do, and it’s all connected, unfortunately. So paying attention to your body will really help. 

Heather Nelson: But what I love about what you’re providing, as you know, an esthetician is not just come in, let’s put some product on your face, give you a quick massage, and you’re out the door. You’re really like diving into their day-to-day stuff, and how they can improve. Which is again, all the things that we constantly keep hearing, we just need to pay attention to it, and listen to it, and implement those little things in our day to day. I’m really excited to come get a facial with you because I could use its pointers. 

Amelia Castillo: Yes, it’s my favorite thing. I just love that I get to talk to women all day long, and hopefully help them feel better about themselves in any way. Sometimes, it looks different. It’s not the same for every client, and so I’m never bored. It’s actually as cheesy and corny as it sounds. It’s very rewarding for me. 

Heather Nelson: One thing that you had mentioned was about your friend who has been battling breast cancer, and this was kind of like a wake-up call for you. If somebody was listening and is going through cancer, or chemo, or radiation, obviously, you’ve been in it with your friend. Do you recommend facials? I’m sure a level of self-care is on a whole nother level. In your experience, I’ve made them feel better. What do you recommend? 

Amelia Castillo: Yes. I have had the pleasure of having some very amazing, strong women come into my treatment room that were battling cancer, And I unfortunately know way too much about the topic. So yes, I would recommend it. It comes with a bunch of asterisks. It would be a conversation we would have of where they’re at, what they’re on, what their treatment looks like. I have a line that is 100% like oncology safe. More so what we’re doing in those types of treatments is some lymphatic drainage, a lot of relaxation, a lot of hydration. The chemo unfortunately takes away everything good and bad. Your skin, you will see that it can be affected, unfortunately, by cancer treatments because it’s going to be dehydrated, it’s going to be dull, it’s going to be reactive and sensitive in doing things that’s never done before. 

And then in some cases, even when you’re done with the fight and everything said and done, your skin is never the same. We’ve got to adjust. I love being able to hold that space for people, but it would be something we would definitely talk about. They can’t do anything because they’re in a very vulnerable, fragile state, and their skin is too. But yes, definitely, that is a form of self-care that you can do that I am educated on. Even in the process of doing more education on oncology and the skin, it would still be something that we would be doing as a team. I’m also really lucky that one of my other sisters is an infusion nurse. She administers chemos and things like that, so I do have access straight to a doctor that I can get information from if needed. Like, hey, she’s on this drug, blah blah blah. And of course I’d have her talking to her doctor. But yes, facials are definitely something you can do. I wouldn’t recommend just booking anything and going anywhere. 

Heather Nelson: I was just about to say that I feel like that could be just like a unique niche for you, for everything we just talked about. But then also, because you have the understanding of cancer, the treatments and all of that, you shouldn’t just go anywhere and hope for the best because there is so much behind that. I think that could be something I love that you’re learning and leaning into that. 

Amelia Castillo: It was something that I’m not surprised that I’m leaning into because it’s really weird. But cancer has just affected my life in more ways than I would care. All my grandparents passed away from cancer. My mom had cancer, obviously. My best friend has cancer. I know I have other friends that have had cancer. It’s insane. And when I was little, I used to save up my money to give it to the American Cancer Society because I was like, we got to figure that shit out. And then in high school, I did my senior project on the American Cancer Society and everything. It’s not surprising that now I’m sitting here going, oh, maybe I’ll do something straight linked to this. My dad actually was like, I thought for sure when you grew up what you were going to do was going to be something in the cancer world, because it was just something that I had cared so much about getting out of my life and everyone else’s life. It is something that’ll probably be coming more in the works. I definitely still do it. It is something that we talk about, but it’ll probably become something even bigger. 

Heather Nelson: You and I were chatting offline, and I just found out that my best friend has colon cancer at 44 years old. I would love to get into this conversation, but for the sake of time, maybe we’ll have to have you back on. But I do think it’s like, as a friend who wants to support a friend, it is a very unknown territory. How you show up and how you support what they need and what they don’t need, I think, unfortunately, because of your experience, you’ve learned so much about that. But what an inspiration you could be to others to help them through that, whether that is somebody that’s battling cancer, or a friend, or a family member that’s supporting that. It’s wild how those things show up in our lives, but there’s a reason why they are. I always believe that there’s a reason why it’s there. And even the day that I think you and I chatted, it’s just crazy how the world works. But I think that it’s something that is much needed in our community.

Amelia Castillo: As someone who has played the supportive role, I think it’s very important. Because naturally, we’ll just be like, oh, nothing matters in comparison. It doesn’t matter what I’m going through. My best friend, my mom, whoever is going through this, almost like we don’t matter. Nobody’s saying that. But we put that in our brain like, oh, we just gotta go. Another thing that I do like to try and hold space for people of like, if you’re the caretaker of someone in any way, it doesn’t even have to be in cancer, but being a caretaker for someone and holding someone’s hand through the scariest, hardest moment of their life will also take a toll on you. It’s okay to then say, I need to reach out. I need someone else to help me while I help this person. And that’s something that I don’t think I didn’t see getting talked about a lot, and I kind of overripe. I kind of wished I had somebody to talk about what I do, like, am I doing this right? Is this okay? I did a lot of trial and error. And thank God, my best friend is like my soul sister. It was different, but it’s still very hard on the person going through it with someone. They sometimes feel guilty if they need help. They’re like, screw what I’m going through, this doesn’t matter. And let me just say, it does. And take care of yourself too. It’s definitely a conversation, for sure. 

Heather Nelson: What’s next for you? Obviously, if you’re local to Sonoma County, we can come and get an amazing experience from you. I love that you do consultations. It’s not just showing up and getting a facial. It’s much more. But what’s next for you? Obviously, we’ve talked about it a little bit. But what’s next? 

Amelia Castillo: Well, what this looks like is still to be determined. But I have a need, a passion, whatever, to give people all the information I have. I feel like it’s so weird. There’s so much that I have learned that sometimes I think it’s common knowledge. And then I realize, oh, no. It’s not common knowledge, it’s just that this is what you’ve been doing for 17 years. I am in the works of creating something I don’t know yet where I can hopefully share my knowledge, and it will be just something where everybody can have access to ways in which they can help, obviously, their skin. That’s what I know. That’s my wheelhouse. It plays obviously into other things, but probably soon we’ll figure that out. There’s some things in the works.

Heather Nelson: I was like, podcasts are always a great way to share the story and all the things. I love that for you. I definitely think you have a thing. There’s something good there, and your knowledge. And it’s the same for me. It’s like when you do something for so long, because I’ve been in hospitality for 25 years, growing relationships and building businesses by growing relationships, it’s like, I want to tell everyone how to do the things because I don’t want to just like, it’s not what I’m passionate about now. But there’s so much in there that could benefit me. How do you get that out of you?

Amelia Castillo: There will be something, so follow along.

Heather Nelson: What’s one bit of inspiration, or takeaway, or something that you want to leave the listeners with today?

Amelia Castillo: Oh, gosh, in what aspect? Life? 

Heather Nelson: You’ve been through a lot. We didn’t even talk about you starting over. You have a four year old, you could talk about that for days. But what you’ve learned, I guess, over your career, or what you’ve learned going through this journey with your best friend, I’m sure you guys seem good. 

Amelia Castillo: That can apply to anything or any aspect, and trying to word this right. Don’t care what other people think. I think it’s so important to just be the main character in our own lives, and quit trying to be smaller, afraid to do anything in whatever aspect. Just be unapologetically yourself. It can be easier said than done. I think the older I get, the more I’m like, screw it. Take me, leave me, but you can’t be everyone’s cup of tea. If you’re my people, you’re my people. And if you’re not, that’s okay. 

Heather Nelson: I wish that I could have the I don’t give a shit mentality that I have now, and that it’s getting worse and worse. I wish I had that when I was in high school.

Amelia Castillo: I would have taken over the world. Are you kidding me?

Heather Nelson: It’s like we’re trying to teach our daughters that, right? Our teenage daughters, you’re like, who? No one cares. Like, mom, don’t do that. I’m like, no one cares. Literally, nobody cares.

Amelia Castillo: Nobody gives a crap. It’s just that the sooner you learn that, the more you’re just gonna be fine, and really be able to do everything. 

Heather Nelson: I love that. I think that is a beautiful way to end this. Because again, I don’t think enough women are doing that. And unfortunately, the older we get, the more we don’t care. But if we could just speak that truth from the beginning and show up unapologetically like who we are, authentically unscripted, so many good things can happen in the world.

That’s a wrap on today’s episode of Her Story Unscripted. Is something you heard today made you feel a little more seen, a little less alone, or just got you thinking that’s exactly why we’re here? If this episode resonated with you, I’d love for you to share it with another woman in your life who needs to hear it. And if you haven’t already, make sure you subscribe wherever you listen, or catch us on YouTube so you never miss a conversation. I’m Heather Nelson. Thank you for being here, for listening, and for showing up for real stories. I’ll see you next week.